How Quickly Our Life Changes...(aka - how the weekend went!)

I requested this last Friday off.  I don't know exactly why I decided to take it off - we didn't have anything specific planned necessarily - let's call in a hunch.  I knew I needed a day off - my job is hectic, tedious, stressful, etc., etc., etc.  I needed a break.

And boy, am I ever thankful I asked for Friday, November 7, 2014 off.

Not because I had to work the night before (actually morning of) until 12:02am-ish due to a work related incident.  Yeah, I of course thought in that moment "oh my goodness, sleeping in is well deserved."

Not because of the day filled with "nothing to do" that I had planned out ahead of myself, but didn't come to fruition.

I am soooo thankful I took this last Friday off because of the call that came at 10:31am Friday.  But let me back up really quick, because I truly think that this weekend was God-orchestrated from the very beginning...

Yes, I got home early Friday morning just shortly after midnight from a work-related matter.  I intentionally turned off my alarm that is usually automatically set for M-F mornings.  I made sure my phone was set on silent - I was bound and determined to wake up when my body woke me up, and I was going to settle for nothing less.  I was successful in this endeavor until around 8:55am, when I woke up and noticed my mom had tried calling me, asking me to meet her (she was in town for part of the weekend), my sister, and my nephew for breakfast.  I agreed, told my husband (who was up getting ready to go to his office), and asked if he wanted to join.  He said he would like to join us, so we got ready and met them for breakfast.  

The plan was for me to spend the rest of the time with my family (shopping, of course!) and for Andrew to go on to work.  We met up for breakfast around 9:40am.  We rehashed our plans for the day over our meals, and were starting to pay and leave - then came the call.  The call wasn't saved in my phone under a specific contact.  It showed up as a "Gastonia, NC" phone number - I thought it was work related (silly me) and rejected the call. 

But then, Andrew's phone started ringing.  Same phone number (strange).  Then it hit me.  I told Andrew I thought it was our DSS case worker since the number had just tried me.  He answered.  It was her.  Andrew, who usually isn't short on words, looked at me in surprise and told our caseworker, "um - just a minute, let me let you talk to Lindsay..."  I had no clue what was going on.  All I knew is that we were a week and a half away from our county review for foster care licensure (that's coming up on the 18th) - she could only be calling with complications or bad news, right?

Wrong.  Oh, so wrong.

We were asked if we would consider taking in two littles for the weekend to provide their current placement with respite so they could celebrate a special occasion just the two of them (Respite is just a fancy term for extended babysitting, essentially).  The littles were both under the age of 5.  And we were asked if a 2pm pick-up time that day was ok.

Andrew and I talked quickly about it, and determined that we would take advantage of this opportunity.  We saw a lot of benefits to this scenario: it got us used to having (multiple) children in our home, it got us connected with at least one other foster family, it was time limited (Friday-Sunday), and it got us used to personal emotions associated with and the process of helping the children we take into our care transition back to the family from which they came to us.  There were definitely many other benefits to our weekend that we acknowledged beforehand and throughout, but these were the "biggies".

So, at 10:45am we start scrambling.  Andrew was no longer going into the office to work, and I was no longer going shopping - we had to go home and get our house ready for two littles!!!  This included picking up around the house, converting our crib to a toddler bed, installing a car seat (we borrowed another from their family), and making sure to have snacks and food on hand that little kiddos like to eat.

Top: What our "kiddo" bedroom looked like within an hour of us finding out we were going to have two littles over the weekend!

Bottom: We figured out how to install the carseat we got recently pretty quickly.  Yay us!

By 2pm, we had two littles in the backseat of our car.  Woah.  Literally, one minute it was just the two of us, the next we were matched with kiddos.  They were quiet somewhat at first - it took the younger one a little longer to warm up - but by a little longer, I mean they were both laughing a clicking their tongues in amusement in our backseat within 10 minutes of us heading to our house.  They were adorable.  Seriously - not even kidding.  Cutest.  Things.  Ever.

Our Friday was spent playing dress-up, watching kid shows on Netflix, going to Monkey Joe's, and pizza at CiCi's (and shout out to my mom and sister for their extra help during the last two excursions that evening!).  The littles were drained by the time we got back home.  Actually, one was tuckered out at dinner - so much to the point that they had to prop their head up on their hand to finish eating their pizza (again, I reiterate: Cutest.  Things.  Ever.).  I was exhausted myself.  I fell asleep around 8:30 that night - no lie!

Saturday and Sunday were great too - they went with us on Saturday down to SC on an excursion  to go to a Christmas event with my mom, sister, and mother in law while Andrew stayed with his dad, brother, and our nephew and watched football.  Again, they were great - so well behaved, so sweet, and again, so cute.  That night ended with spaghetti at home and watching a movie.  Sunday we went to church, came home for a quick lunch, and packed up and met back up with their placement family.  

This weekend was such a blessing.  It honestly couldn't have gone better - and we know that this is not necessarily the "norm" of parenting - no matter the context of that role.  We by no means are assuming it's all sunshine and rainbows because of this weekend's interactions - trust me, I know how nitty-gritty some scenarios can get...I may not have had the children living in my home specifically, but I've worked intensely with them in the past.  But we had such a good time.  The roles of us being caretakers  to small children just fell into place so naturally.  And most of all, we felt as if we bonded so well with them (as well as their placement family).  

Yes, the drop-off today stung a little, not gonna lie.  But I am thankful at the same time - we needed to experience this, because it is going to happen in the future, guaranteed. I am so thankful they have such a loving, gentle, stable family to go home to.  I am so thankful that they even talked to us about potentially providing respite to them in the future.  And I am so thankful to have been able to pour ourselves into two precious littles for a period of time, even if for only a weekend.

Also, can I just say, I am we are so ready for November 18th?!?!   Seriously!!!  I honestly texted our case worker once we left drop-off stating how ready we were for licensure.  This weekend only solidified our calling to this area of ministry, and we couldn't be more excited!

What we've been up to in the past few weeks and how you can help...

I don't think we ever imagined that our decision to pursue foster care training about 2 months ago would leave us down the path that it currently is - but, boy are we excited! 

We haven't completed everything we have to have done for licensure quite yet, but we are getting mighty close.  And by the end of next week, we hope to have everything submitted to our social worker for review at the beginning of November.

But, here's an account of the things we have managed to have completed in just the past three weeks:

• We have completed our MAPP training - This is the required training for prospective foster parents.  We had to go to class every Monday and Tuesday evening for 5 weeks (a total of 30 hours) to learn the fundamentals of foster care.  This class was highly informative and our call to foster care/adoption was solidified through this course.  But I gotta say, it is so nice to have my Monday and Tuesday nights back to myself!  
• We attended panel night - This was actually an aspect of our training, but I'm making it a separate point because it really stood out for Andrew and me.  Panel night occurred last Monday evening, and included two active foster couples.  One of the couples was actually younger than Andrew and myself - which was actually a huge answered prayer for me (Lindsay).  We got to ask questions of them, and they offered a lot of useful insight and advice to us.  
• We have started on the "Kiddo Room" - This is probably one of the biggest changes over the past couple of weeks.  The room that I used to adoringly refer to as the "wedding room" in the house (because it's where I collected everything needed for our big day) has begun it's transformation into a kid's room.  

This is what the bedroom looked like around noon on Sunday, October 5th...

The room looked like this around 2pm or so that same day...

By last Wednesday evening, the room looked more like this!

And as of tonight, I finished making the bumper!

• This is definitely one of the most exciting parts about everything.  It's fun pulling everything together for the room and getting it "kid ready".  It's also exciting walking past the room daily and knowing that in a few weeks, we could have a kid (or a few kids!) living in this very spot!  I still have a few other projects to work on for the room, but it's coming together great.
• We finished all of our interviews - as of today! - When pursuing licensure for foster care, prior to everything being considered complete, you have to go through a series of 3 interviews.  These interviews are very personal, getting to the nitty-gritty of a lot of different aspects of one's life, upbringing, parenting philosophy, etc. to determine appropriateness and preparedness for fostering/adopting.  So, for the past 3 Thursday afternoons, Andrew and I have met with our social worker to complete these interviews.

Through this process, we have been humbled and appreciative of all of the positive feedback and support that we've received from family and friends in the past few weeks - it truly has been such a blessing to know that we have such an amazing support system around us during this time.  A lot of people have asked the same question: what can we do to help?

I wanted to make sure to answer this question as thoughtfully as possible, so I've mulled it over, and here is (part of) my answer:

• First and foremost, please pray for us.  We know what we're getting into - but at the same time, we have no idea what we're getting into.  We've been thoroughly trained in certain aspects of what to expect with fostering children in DSS custody, but at the same time, we don't know what it's like to actually live this kind of life.  We don't know what children we will be asked to take into our homes.  We don't know their backgrounds and needs.  And we don't know the exact pain and hurt that we will experience when/if we're told it's time for them to return home to their family.  But we know that it's going to hurt.  It's going to be unlike anything we've ever experienced, we're sure.  But please pray that when that time comes, that our hearts are not hardened towards fostering by the experience, but instead softened further to the cause of helping children and families desperately in need.
• Please be understanding of the fact that our lives are about to drastically change.  We have thoroughly prayed about this and feel as if we're called to this means of growing our family.  Please understand that one day we may not have any children in our care, but the very next we may have a few!  Plans will change, routines will drastically alter - we will have to create a new normal.  And we are so excited about these changes coming our way!  
• Please consider donating anything you or your child no longer uses/needs if you feel called to do so.  Let's face it, we're starting fresh with this - we have no kids of our own at this time.  And we're being asked to jump in head first into parenting.  There's no guarantee our first placement will be a baby - we could very well have a four year old.  We could very well have a sibling group placed with us very first thing.  Or we could be asked to keep an 8 year old just for a weekend.  And because of all of this uncertainty, we have no idea where to really begin in collecting essential items.  The real eye-opener for us was at panel night.  The couple that was younger than us has been doing foster care for over a year already and have already had twelve different children placed in their home - over half of them being babies!!!

We have some staple essentials:  one crib that can convert to a toddler bed, one stroller, a pack-n-play, one car seat, a high chair, and a toddler swing - but honestly, that's about it.  So, with that being said, here are some of our biggest needs:

• Clothes - any size, any gender, any season - seriously!  Onesies, shirts, pants/shorts, dresses, socks, shoes - it doesn't matter!  We already have access to plastic bins to arrange these items that way we can "grab and go" as needed.  This is probably our GREATEST need, as we have no idea where to even begin collecting at this time.  We were advised by other foster parents that we will continually go through clothes with children in our home because often times they come in with nothing, so when they leave, they leave with everything you have that fits them!
• Diapers and Wipes - again, any size.  Newborns and preemies are sometimes in foster care.  And given that we requested a younger age range, we will more than likely be in need of these sooner than later!  If you find that your baby outgrew a size before you used up all of your packs, or that you have an extra pack of wipes just laying around, we could definitely put these items to great use.
• Formula Coupons - doesn't matter the brand, size, etc. 
• Toys and Books - again, anything is appreciated.  Another aspect where we don't know where to start collecting items.
• Anything else that may be essentials/of use at some point! - baby monitors, accessories, dishes, bedding, etc. etc. etc.  I honestly don't know what else to list right now (I'm also exhausted at the moment), but I know this is by no means an exhaustive list!

If we find that we are not in need of something that you would like to donate to us, we will certainly be happy to pass along the item(s) to a family or ministry who would greatly benefit from the item, such as Least of These Gaston.   We promise to be good stewards of what you bless us (and the children in our homes) with.

As always, we're here to talk openly about our journey - please get in touch with us about any questions you may have about our journey!  Love you all!

What Our "Thing" Is... (*spoiler alert*: changes!)

So, I haven't been posting much on here and on social media lately.  I know my last post (in mid-August) listed off multiple factors contributing to the neglect of my blog - and a lot of those things carry over to now.  However, there's another reason why I've been somewhat "rogue" online...

You see, this morning, I had to go Sheriff's Office in our home county to get fingerprinted.  I posted a short update on facebook earlier today giving a snippet of an exchange I had in the waiting room (who knew SO's had waiting rooms?!).  I apparently went to get fingerprinted at the same time another man decided to turn himself in.  The officer behind the desk asked him to take a seat in the same area I was sitting, so he sat two chairs down from me.  I sat there quietly, minding my own business when he suddenly turned to me and inquired: "so are you here for the same thing?"

First - I didn't know what his "thing" was.  But since it involved turning himself in to the sheriff's office, I ventured to assume not.

Second - My thing is not just my "thing".  It's mine and my husband's "thing".  Now granted, my husband had to be somewhere an hour away for work first thing this morning, and I take any free opportunity I have before/after work to get things done during normal 9-5 business hours - so I was there alone.  But our "thing" is definitely ours...

But before I get to that, I have a puzzle for you guys:

What do these photo snippets all have in common?

I'll give you a few moments...

...

...figure it out?...

...

Stumped?

Don't worry - I'll help you out!  As of last night all of the electric sockets have plugs in them.  We've begun acquiring new pieces of furniture.  Our 3rd bedroom, which once had nothing in it, is soon going to rapidly begin transforming.  I spoke to a fire marshall for the first time in my life this morning.  I have my fingerprints sitting on my kitchen table downstairs, and my husband is having his run on Monday morning.  We now have a carbon monoxide detector and fire extinguisher in our house.

So what does this all mean?

It means Andrew and I have together decided to venture into the world of becoming foster parents.  Yep.  You read that right.  

Foster.  

Parents.  

Put those two words together again: Foster Parents.  

Woah.  

This is quickly becoming a reality to us.  We have been taking classes 6 hours a week for the last 4 weeks (this upcoming week is our last week!), have already completed our first of three intensive interviews with our case worker, and are slated to have our 2nd interview and home inspection next week.  

Our immediate families know already about this decision.  A few close friends and confidants are aware of this as well.  However, we decided to wait til now to let everyone know about our decision for multiple factors.  

Quite honestly, when I (Lindsay) started confiding in people about this decision, I was taken aback by a response that I received from someone.  I let someone that I worked with as a professional peer know that I had to get to class one night.  When she asked what kind of class, I explained that we had decided to become licensed foster parents.  Her response was: "why would you want to do that?"  Now, trust me - I know fostering/adoption is not for everyone.  Not everyone understands or is called to participate in this world.  However - when I told her that we were thinking about doing this, I confided in her with the knowledge that she herself was a licensed foster parent with multiple placements in her home.  I was dumbfounded, to say the least.  This response made me become very guarded with who I told.

Also, we've been pretty "hush hush" about it because of the unknown.  We didn't know what to expect from the process or classes.  We didn't want to announce that we were going to become foster parents prematurely, only to have our schedules not match up with the class requirements, or us determine right now is not the right time for us to venture into fostering, or any other number of reasons.  But as the classes have gone on, and we have taken further steps into solidifying our application for licensure, Andrew and I have been amazed at how much more at peace we are becoming and assured in the fact that we are doing what we feel we have been called to do as a family.  

So, I'll say it again - we're becoming foster parents.  And we know that with this, a lot of changes are going to come about.  

For example, we won't be posting as much online - especially pictures.  This is because we are unable to post pictures (or any other identifiable information) online of our future foster kiddos.  Also, it just safeguards us as a family from other issues that may arise from being involved in such delicate situations like fostering.  Doesn't mean we're gone completely or forever - it just won't be as much or the same as before.

Also, our schedules are definitely going to be changing.  We are two busy adults with very distinct careers and schedules about our weeks.  Now, add a child (or children) to this equation, and life is gonna be very different.  But hopefully, very rewarding and fulfilling.  

Finally, the most distinct change of all is going to be our increased need for love, support, prayers, advice, etc. from our families and friends.  Yes, we know, we're going to be new to this thing called parenting.  But every parent - biological, foster, or adoptive - had to start somewhere.  And this is where we have decided to begin.  And there is joy and peace in that.

Just because we aren't posting publicly online about every little step in our journey, doesn't mean that we're not open to talking to you about it.  I'll be posting periodically about things we've learned and experienced throughout this, but we also welcome your questions and interest.  Feel free to call, text, message, or walk right up and talk to us about this.  We are so excited about where this step in our lives is going to take us!

Thank you for your love and support!

I'm not gone...

It's been a while since I've updated/posted on my progress.  This is due to multiple factors including:

*My crazy-busy work schedule

*Vacation

*A broke foot, which put my exercise regimen on hold for a little over a month

*Health stuff (always a fun one!)

*And (*transparency alert*) - a lack of motivation to write and update due to said health "stuff" - it can all get a little overwhelming at times, and while I have a TON of thoughts and things to say at any given moment, I can't seem to ever write it all out...

But, this WILL be changing.  Soon.  Even if I have to force myself.  I'm gonna get back to updating and whatnot, I promise.  So stay alert for updates coming!

- Lindsay

Garden 2014

One of the first things my husband helped me with at my house when we started dating 2 years ago was building me three 4'x4' raised garden beds.  And that year, I started with some basics - 2 tomato plants, some squash, zucchini, banana peppers, and some other stuff that didn't yield substantial crops.  Then, last year, we were in full wedding planning mode, and I knew that I wouldn't be able tend to it - so I let it grow over for the season.

While I can never claim to be a complete "outdoorsy" person, I must say, I thoroughly enjoy gardening (minus the icky bug element of it all).  It helps me to relax, clear my mind, and ultimately helps me (and my family) cut back on our produce expenses for part of the year.  Some of my fondest memories of my extended family involved spending time with my paternal grandparents and great-grandparents.  My great-grandparents were avid gardeners - and when we would go to visit every summer for a week or two, I remember spending afternoons at my great's, snapping beans and picking other veggies from their gardens.

Last weekend, I hit full-fledged garden-planning mode, especially since Andrew had been talking about beautifying the yard the week prior.  So, after church last Sunday, Andrew and I hit up the local stores in search of this year's plants/bulbs/seeds and other supplies.  We cleaned out the beds that even after a season of lack of care, held up very well!  One of the first plants we brought out to plant didn't fare too well at the mercies of our newest dog, Stella (a lab/we dunno mix) - she apparently has a taste for strawberry plants!  But we learned our lesson, and today took measures to better protect/reinforce our plants from the dogs (even though, I must say the dogs did pretty well for a week - but I'm not willing to chance it!).  We also added 6 other plants this afternoon.  So, here's what we have going this year:

Full view of our 3 beds

Yellow Planter: Spinach

Red Planters: Strawberries

Blue Planter: Romaine

Tomato Cage (top): Goliath tomatoes 

Tomato Plant (middle): Cherry tomatoes

Tomato Cage (bottom): Roma tomatoes

Top Bed (L-R): cilantro, spearmint, parsley, basil

Bottom Bed (L-R): red potatoes, red onions, white onions, garlic

Top Bed (top row): jalepeno (two plants), yummy bell peppers

Top Bed (bottom row): cayenne peppers, banana peppers (four plants), green bell pepper

Bottom Bed (top row): cucumber (full-size), green okra, straight-neck squash

Bottom Bed (bottom row): cucumber (pickling size), zucchini, straight-neck squash 

(thought I bough a crook-neck plant, but came home with a second straight-neck plant!  Oops!)

So, this is our garden this year (for now, at least!).  Broccoli come time to be planted/transplanted in the next couple of weeks, so we may have to finish out the other side of the first bed soon to make more room, but we'll see! 

And I'm definitely open to feedback and advice - I'm new to gardening and I'm by no means an expert, so any/all advice/guidance I can get is greatly appreciated! 

Isaiah 58:11

And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. - Isaiah 58:11

This verse has been very poignant to me the past few days.  It is a wonderful reminder to me that no matter what I'm going through right now, God knows what is going on and he is with me.

I had my doctor's appointments this last Tuesday.  And they didn't go as planned.  And while I want to be able to say that I'm "okay" with the outcomes, I'm struggling with it right now, but praying for peace and contentment in our situation.

First was my hematology appointment.  It was with a new doctor, new practice, etc., so I knew that I would be having to start on a blank slate of sorts with explaining my case history.  Before I even got in to see the doctor, though, I was informed that my hemoglobin had dropped 1.2 (down to a 7.9) in just a weeks time.  Basically, I was informed that because of my drastic decrease and because my body does not typically absorb iron like others, I would have to begin monthly iron infusions indefinitely.  Not the worst thing in the world (I once had to go through 6 weeks of infusions a few years back), but being told that I would have to undergo this procedure every month from here on out with no identified end in sight is somewhat daunting.

Then I had my appointment with another specialist.  I had a follow up ultrasound, following up on the ultrasound I had a week ago.  And that's when we were informed that there was something detected on the ultrasound that was more than likely contributing to my health issues.  It's unrelated to my endo and adeno, which is of some slight concern to my doctor.  And until this, coupled with my severe anemia are addressed, we can't address other health concerns.  So, my doctor has scheduled me for surgery next Thursday.  Nothing super serious (again, I've had a similar procedure before), but every procedure always carries it's own set of risks.  

I will say, we were relieved to find out that my doctor is not advising a radiological procedure that had previously been discussed briefly right now at this moment.  He does not see the benefit of doing it, nor the necessity.  So at least that's been tabled for now.

So - please continue to keep me (and Andrew!) in your prayers over the next few weeks and months.  The procedure next week is outpatient in nature and shouldn't take long at all, really - and if I'm not in a lot of pain, I can even return to work Friday.  But that's not to say that this isn't still stressful for us.  Prayers for peace, patience, and guidance are greatly appreciated.  

As always, thank you to our family and friends who have been here for me (and us!) since the beginning and even now, still...it is greatly appreciated!

Absence Makes the Heart Grow More Eager for Updates!

Let me apologize right now for my prolonged absence...it's been partially intentional, but also circumstantial.  Ever since March, following a significant event, I've been working on a blog post, and I'm still not done with it.  Don't worry, it's not that long - I just want to make sure it conveys the point I'm trying to make (you'll understand why when it comes time to post!).

However, I feel as if I need to post to update folks on some stuff going on, so I can keep people in on the loop, and to properly document this journey!

I had been doing really well with everything - like, really, REALLY well with my routine and program - working out at least 3 days a week (I had worked up to 5 miles...which is AMAZING for me!), sticking to a whole, natural foods diet, etc.

Then it happened - two Fridays ago I began having symptoms that I've experienced multiple other times before.  I didn't worry too much at first, because I've learned to give the symptoms about a week to either kick into full gear or resolve themselves.  Well, of course, they didn't resolve themselves - unfortunately.  So, last Tuesday Andrew and I booked a last-minute appointment with a new doctor (to me) at the practice that I go to.  I had to have an on-the-spot ultrasound (nothing too significant was found) and my hemoglobin had dropped .6 since the beginning of March - but she wasn't overly concerned to the point of transfusion - which I was mostly concerned about.  She put me on some medicine to help get my symptoms under control - which thankfully worked this go around (there was a time in the past that it didn't).

But also, in talking with her, she asked us to keep our already-scheduled appointment with my regular doctor this upcoming Tuesday.  She stated that I would need to have a 2nd US at this appointment for my doctor to rule out the need to have a surgical procedure done again that I had done early 2012.  Then she stated that we would also be discussing the possibility of a second procedure.  I'm not too worried about either of these - one I've had done before, and I knew given my endometriosis and adenomyosis, I will probably have to have multiple times.  The other, while in-patient in nature, is a non-invasive radiological procedure that has the potential to really help me!

She also stated that her recommendation to my typical doctor is to begin me on a medication immediately that Andrew and I have been informed about and have been praying about and discussing for the past few weeks.  We thought it wouldn't happen for another 6 months, and now we're being told it might be happening as soon as a week from then (now TWO days!).  We're excited about the potential that this medication provides, but are also aware (through research, talking with the doctors, and consulting with friends who have also been on this medicine) that it's not for the faint at heart - the next few months are going to be difficult potentially.

Also, on Tuesday, prior to this appointment at 10:30,  I'm consulting with a new hematologist at 8:30!  Oh boy!  Point of this appointment will be to consult about my hemoglobin/anemia issues and the possibility for me to undergo iron infusions again (since my body doesn't seem to absorb iron through supplements).  I've had these in the past, and while not worrisome, I remember the last few weeks of my last round were somewhat unpleasant due to my body building up natural defenses to the amount of iron it was being inundated with on a weekly basis.

All of this is to inform you of where I currently stand in my journey, BUT ALSO to come to you all, our friends and family, and ask for prayer.  Pray for guidance and sound medical advice throughout my appointments.  Pray that Andrew and I not feel pressured to make decisions that aren't the best for us (not that this is a concern at the moment - but you never know!).  Just pray for whatever may come to mind in regards to us over the next few days - it would greatly be appreciated!

Thank you all so much - you have no idea how much this means to us!



*Oh yeah, and there's another unspoken prayer request we have in regards to Tuesday - so if you'd cover that as well, that'd be appreciated as well! :)